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(Proverbs 31:25-26)
"She is clothed with strength and dignity; She can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue." |
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| Monday, November 07, 2005 |
| Can you love someone without regular communication? |
Okay lemme first explain the inspiration behind this article... It came from the latest posting (6Nov) on one of my friend's blog. Well he concluded that it's possible... but communication is still very important. So thus opens this post... (be warned that it may get very long or it can ramble into my past experiences or my friend's experiences.) so there. the disclaimers. read on if u are still interested.
let's look at the definition of love. Below are some definitions I found from the dictionary.com.
-A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
-A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.
-Sexual passion.
-An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.
-A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment.
-An expression of one's affection: Send him my love.
So far it talks all about emotions; about intense and deep passions, affection, attraction... basically intangble stuff... things that my psychology textbooks will like to sae "things that are hard to measure" and some other "hard to operationalize" stuff. I shant bore u all with my psychological terms (i've been reading notes dae and night... brain is abit saturated with their words... so pardon me.). in self-help books or in relationship-help books, communication is a key area in which these books will wax lyrical about. they will go on and on about how girls and guys have different love systems, different love values, different communication methods. think "men from mars, women from venus" kind of books. not that i dislike these books ah... i like them well enough. eh... i am digressing.
okay... so from the definitions above, can u love someone without regular communication? I think the answer is YES. can the love last? ah... that is something that shld be tested in the lab. to get unbiased, valid, generalizable results. erm.... what i meant is love is an emotion. whether the emotion can last long and consistent without regular communication seems dubious. it's like asking whether u believe in love @ first sight. to some ppl, love = intense emotion of attraction. to others, love = intense emotion of attraction over a prolonged period of time. yeah... another factor to consider. Time.
my friend thought she liked this guy for about 2 years. did they ever talk? yes... but far and between. and she knew he didn't and never reciprocated her feelings (he had 2 girlfrens. enuff said.) what abt those adoring fans out there? i dare sae that there are some fans out there who professed to be intensely in love with their idols and that they can even die to prove their love. did they communicate regularly with their idols? I dun think so. what abt long i can go on and on... but okay enough what i typed. do someone realise a loophole in my talk? heh yes... i din talk abt God's love. or rather His definition of love.
His definition of love definitely includes communication. Think of Jesus praying so many times... and the Bible reminded us to keep talking to God. Why? Becos in order to build a relationship with God... and what kind of relationship? a loving one! So thus... the definition of love in God's terms can be quite different in the worldly terms. and i think lah... in order to have a godly relationship with the opposite gender, regular communication is a MUST. otherwise one can keep on guessing what the other partner is doing... or thinking. okay maybe u can argue that if u trust the person, u need not communicate so regularly. eh... then how do u explain why so many long-distance relationships fail? and those that survived often receives amazingly high phone bills? or air ticket bills?
after typing and typing... i think it's possible to fall in love with someone without regular communication but to continue to be in love... at least the kind God wants to see, communication is a must.
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okay... just wanna go on to something that's not related. heh heh. todae i just made a decision. what kind of decision? the decision to let go. to let go of what? something that has been badgering me for abt... 6 years. and to the more observant, they may notice a change in my appearance (hint: my left hand). decided to learn to come to terms with it before the end of this year is coming. i am going to be 4 yars as a christian liao... and it's putting me increasingly in a more and more 'pondering' mood. aniwaes... me going to continue to pray abt it... and please pray for me to continue to surrender to God abt this...
gonna end here. ciao. |
ranted by Jerraine @ 8:06 PM  |
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| 1 Comments: |
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Vick! i love this entry! totally agree! ;)
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Vick! i love this entry! totally agree! ;)