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(Proverbs 31:25-26)
"She is clothed with strength and dignity; She can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue." |
| Tunes in My Head |
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| Thursday, November 03, 2005 |
| With more freedom comes more responsibility. |
Eh... well... was thinking quite a lot todae doing my QT on yesterdae's lesson by Wee Keong. I appreciated the lesson alot. It came @ the best timing manz. (Yes God... u always so perfect timing one. *grinz*) And I was thinking abt how it's so easy to get into the routine of doing QT that... it becomes just a routine. I can forget quite easily that this 'routine' is going to help me stay faithful. I forget that this so-called routine is going to help me last the marathon to reach Heaven. When it just becomes a routine, my relationship with God also become very mundane when it should be passionate and earnest. And when I feel this way... it's like a golden opportunity for Satan to get a foothold in my life. When everything seems so ... stagnant, it's so easy for Satan to throw sth my way and distract me from the path I am supposed to be walking on. It's a NARROW path! (warning ah... i am linking my thoughts left, right, center. if u get lost... erm. read from the beginning again.)
And how as I am becoming a 4-year christian, I still struggle with just spending time with God... alot of times my heart was either not into it; or distracted; or rushed. I was never realli consistent on being focused or just being in deep communion with God. No. I was far too busy trying to accomplish this and that in the world that I neglected to really spend time with God with utmost devotion. And due to my distracted nature... I will only realise this when it's been happening a long time. Just thinking that God often sets up a time with me to just see me rushing, making phone calls, treating my time with Him as mere duties... I think I really hurt God so many umpteen times. And as I mature as a Christian... it's so true that I am given more 'freedom'. I am no longer required to 'share' my QT regularly with my discipler as last time. As a young Christian, many people will ask me abt my QT and how I am doing it... whether I need help. It may seem like a curb of my freedom to some people. Somehow as I got older, I seem to lose the habit to share my daily QT with at least one person. It became a chore... a routine that I finally found myself shedding it. As now the church addresses accountability issues and etc, I realised that if we want to have more freedom and not be so so-called 'controlled' or 'legalistic', we need to embrace the fact that we are responsible for our own salvation and also responsible to try our best to help one another! However, I myself for one dun see that I have that kind of mindset. Like I wishes to have the freedom to decide when i am going home for dinner... will i get grouchy when I reach home not eating dinner and finding no dinner at home? will i try to get my mom to cook me noodles, stating the reason that i'm tired? Will I wish to have more freedom in my finances, but do i realise that I need to handle it with discipline? When people no longer asks so much, do I realise that I should be responsible to speak up more... to share more? I dun think so.
Jesus also had a lot of freedom from God... we dun see God sending missives to Jesus everydae on what to do and how to do... No. Instead we see Jesus praying @ all moments... even when he had alot to do, he always prayed... always seeking God's advice and treasuring it as the most important. Thus He was able to accomplish so many impossible things even as He was stripped of all His powers. Just because he relied on God totally and allowed God to work through himself.
Well... now I am trying to pick up the habit to meditate. It's quite impossibly hard for me as my mind often thinks 4 kinds of things at one time. and though we need not empty our minds when we meditate... it's kinda hard for me to just focus on one thing at one time. I tried but gave up after a while. I think this time I shall try to at least meditate once a dae... to make it into a godly habit!
haha... sorry for the long entry... hope no one is falling asleep at this entry... |
ranted by Jerraine @ 11:00 PM  |
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