Was doing my quiet time today and was praying to God to help me learn how to equip myself to really just let go of the past and just rely on God... to just no longer seek security in Men (in general) but to find my home and fortress in God. Then I came across this article that inspired me. I have been focusing so much on letting go before I turn to God that I forgot that I need to want to hold on to God first before I can learn to let go.
"Trust GOD from the bottom of your heart;
don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for GOD's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he's the one who will keep you on track." - Provers 3:5-6 (Msg)
(side note: yeah.. this is my memory verse for this 2 weeks! going to try memorize the NLT version as well as NIV)
This verse makes it so clear... that I need to hold on to God first and to rely on Him first before I proceed to let go of whatever emotional burdens I have. For too long, I have been trying to let go and trying to rely on God at the same time. It works for a while but soon, my heart will feel tempted to want to solve it on my own wisdom and then I get drained... get discouraged... then try to rely on God again... blah blah. vicious cycle.
"He who trusts in himself is a fool,
but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe." -Proverbs 28:26 (NIV) Yep... what wisdom are we talking about here? God's Word loh... and have I been relying on God's Word as much as God wants me to? No. Why? Because I am still trying to use human wisdom to get over what is bothering me. I already know that trusting myself is foolish but yet I still want to try coupling human wisdom with God's wisdom... and then get emotional when the combination do not work. God wants me to just rely on His wisdom and His wisdom Only!!
"Do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God
I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,
Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." -Isaiah 41:10 (NASB)
Wow. There's so many verses in the Bible that tells me not to fear... and to tell me to just hold on to God. I really need to want to thirst to repent in this area and to hold on to God with all my strength. Because He will be holding on to me. He will be there for me always. He will wipe away my tears. He will laugh with me. He will guide me through the darkness that I put myself into. He will love me unconditionally. He will still smile at me even when I do the most foolish things.
The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out.
But I, GOD, search the heart and examine the mind. I get to the heart of the human.
I get to the root of things. I treat them as they really are, not as they pretend to be." - Jeremiah 17:8-10 (Msg)
God is the only one who knows my heart. Even my best friends don't know what is my darkest secrets... and yet God knows. And He still chose to give me a chance to change and repent... not just a chance... but many, many countless chances. Thank you God. I promise I will try to keep holding on to You and not to the world. Thanks for loving me so much... |
