| Royal Hearing |
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| Favourite |
(Proverbs 31:25-26)
"She is clothed with strength and dignity; She can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue." |
| Tunes in My Head |
Create your own Friend Test here |
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| Friday, January 27, 2006 |
| A poem of simple grace and love |
Heaven in He reigns with all its splendour
Earth we belong to due to our inquities
Love so great He has shown us
One Son the He gave us
Vied for our love and a chance to reunite
Eager to show us the paradise that awaits
So many years and centuries He waited and waits
Yet many still chose to be blind and deaf
Our mission is to show the extent of change in our lives
U can be the one who will guide one, two or many to the Greatest Love.
eh... a poem that just some sort took shape as I was doing quiet time.
:) Spot the hidden message I put inside this poem. Should be quite
easy to guess. :)
Love, Victoria |
ranted by Jerraine @ 11:54 AM  |
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| Tuesday, January 24, 2006 |
| A story of T and K |
As she absently fiddles with the ring, she ponders. T or K? What should it be?
"Should I go for a dramatic finish or should I just keep it locked?" she muses. Unable to make up her mind, she consults one of her closest friends, C. C supports the idea of locking it up... yet she hesitates. She prays to God again and knows that God has already hinted to her the answer before. To keep it out of sight and to just let it no longer remain in her possession. Thus after a round of asking people the question of "T or K?", she decides to go for it. She and C went to the rooftop and after some praying and tearing, she decides to fling it into the sky...
Too bad it wasn't a gold ring... otherwise it could at least be melted for some money. |
| ranted by Jerraine @ 4:22 PM |
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| Thursday, January 19, 2006 |
| The way I think..? |
I couldn't make up my mind... so I chose three... and two that I will never likely choose. hehe turns out pretty true. try this test!
The two I will not choose:
| Your Brain's Pattern | 
You're a simple thinker, and this is actually a very good thing.
You don't complicate matters when you don't have to.
You look for the simplest explanation or solution, and you go with that.
As a result, your mind is uncluttered and free of stress. |
| Your Brain's Pattern | 
Structured and organized, you have a knack for thinking clearly.
You are very logical - and you don't let your thoughts get polluted with emotions.
And while your thoughts are pretty serious, they're anything from boring.
It's minds like yours that have built the great cities of the world! |
The three I chose... not in order. These three caught my eye quite simultaneously.
| Your Brain's Pattern | 
You have a dreamy mind, full of fancy and fantasy.
You have the ability to stay forever entertained with your thoughts.
People may say you're hard to read, but that's because you're so internally focused.
But when you do share what you're thinking, people are impressed with your imagination. |
| Your Brain's Pattern | 
Your mind is a multi dimensional wonderland, with many layers.
You're the type that always has multiple streams of though going.
And you can keep these thoughts going at any time.
You're very likely to be engaged in deep thought - and deep conversation. |
| Your Brain's Pattern | 
Your mind is a firestorm - full of intensity and drama.
Your thoughts may seem scattered to you most of the time...
But they often seem strong and passionate to those around you.
You are a natural influencer. The thoughts you share are very powerful and persuading. |
what's urs? hehe |
| ranted by Jerraine @ 12:57 AM |
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| Some test results... take with a pinch of salt. |
| Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking | 
You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal.
You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk.
You should major in:
Philosophy
Music
Theology
Art
History
Foreign language |
| The Keys to Your Heart | 
You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.
In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.
You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.
Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.
In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted. |
| Your Blog Should Be Blue | 
Your blog is a peaceful, calming force in the blogosphere.
You tend to avoid conflict - you're more likely to share than rant.
From your social causes to cute pet photos, your life is a (mostly) open book. |
| You Are 27 Years Old | 
Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. |
| What Your Sleeping Position Says |
You are calm and rational.
You are also giving and kind - a great friend.
You are easy going and trusting.
However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games. |
| You Should Be A Cancer | 
What's good about you: you're incredibly kind, caring, and generous
What's bad about you: you can be too moody and impossible to understand
In love: you enjoy wining and dining the object of your affection
In friendship, you're: likely to depend on other friends for emotional support
Your ideal job: historian, marine biologist, or religious figure
Your sense of fashion: you dress to match your mood
You like to pig out on: classic home cooked meals, like mac and cheese |
| Your Heart Is Pink | 
In relationships, you like to play innocent - even though you aren't.
Each time you fall in love, it's like falling for the first time.
Your lucky first date: Picnic in the park
Your dream lover: Is both caring and dominant
What you bring to relationships: Romance |
| Your Ideal Relationship is Marriage | 
You've dated enough to know what you want.
And that's marriage - with the right person.
You're serious about settling down some time soon.
Even if you haven't met the person you want to get hitched to! |
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| ranted by Jerraine @ 12:39 AM |
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| Tuesday, January 17, 2006 |
| Do You Know....? |
1) My favourite flower is NOT Blue Roses. Nor Yellow Sunflowers. My favourite flower is White Lilies! haha and I love the whitest and purest and most fragrant of the lilies... the Cascablanca Lilies. They're not readily available in Singapore... Basically this lily is called the 'perfect white lily' by many lily experts. haha. and... below is a picture of it.
2) I have been stuck at my present height since I was 15 years old. (Okay... please don't throw apples at me!!)
3) I am such a "everything-also-eat" person to everyone BUT I don't really eat watercress. Don't ask me why. I just don't realli like the taste. Blech.
4) I was a premature baby... I was supposed to be born in early Feb, 1984. I think my 'gan-jiong'ness really started since I was born!! hehe
5) I lurrrrveee sashimi. And I don't mean salmon only. Actually I make it a point not to eat salmon sashimi when I get to eat authentic Japanese restaurant. YOU MUST TRY the meat from a tuna's cheek if you have a chance. The restaurant at Japanese Association is not bad but extremely burdensome on one's pocket.
6) I also lurrrvee spicy food. I especially like Thai food and I am an ardent fan of Tom Yum. BUT!! Dun anyhow gimme cheap Tom Yum... my tastebuds will be sad. lol. I still miss the tom yum i tasted in a night market in Chiangmai, Thailand... *drool*
7) I love handicraft. Even though I tend to be clumsy but I love making friendship bands especially when I have the time. Last time, I did them in class during secondary school days. My record is making 3 name bracelets within 1 week. And making the basic friendship band bracelet within 15mins. haha
8) I am a voracious reader. I read when I am on the bus, when I am walking, when I am about to sleep... ... even when I am in the toilet I also have to bring reading materials. So if I ever fast on reading... positively I think I will really really suffer. And I need a lot of surrendering to do manz...
9) I was the champion of discus and shotput in my secondary school's sports events for 3 years. haha. nothing great about this achievement... just wanna mention it. lol
10) I can cry buckets when I read storybooks or comics. yeah... I do most of my crying when I read. weird hor? when it comes to like injections and go to do physio... I hardly tear. I just laugh non-stop.
eh... that's enough facts for now. got this inspiration from Clara. haha. |
| ranted by Jerraine @ 11:19 PM |
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| Holding On and Letting Go |
Was doing my quiet time today and was praying to God to help me learn how to equip myself to really just let go of the past and just rely on God... to just no longer seek security in Men (in general) but to find my home and fortress in God. Then I came across this article that inspired me. I have been focusing so much on letting go before I turn to God that I forgot that I need to want to hold on to God first before I can learn to let go.
"Trust GOD from the bottom of your heart;
don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for GOD's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he's the one who will keep you on track." - Provers 3:5-6 (Msg)
(side note: yeah.. this is my memory verse for this 2 weeks! going to try memorize the NLT version as well as NIV)
This verse makes it so clear... that I need to hold on to God first and to rely on Him first before I proceed to let go of whatever emotional burdens I have. For too long, I have been trying to let go and trying to rely on God at the same time. It works for a while but soon, my heart will feel tempted to want to solve it on my own wisdom and then I get drained... get discouraged... then try to rely on God again... blah blah. vicious cycle.
"He who trusts in himself is a fool,
but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe." -Proverbs 28:26 (NIV) Yep... what wisdom are we talking about here? God's Word loh... and have I been relying on God's Word as much as God wants me to? No. Why? Because I am still trying to use human wisdom to get over what is bothering me. I already know that trusting myself is foolish but yet I still want to try coupling human wisdom with God's wisdom... and then get emotional when the combination do not work. God wants me to just rely on His wisdom and His wisdom Only!!
"Do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God
I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,
Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." -Isaiah 41:10 (NASB)
Wow. There's so many verses in the Bible that tells me not to fear... and to tell me to just hold on to God. I really need to want to thirst to repent in this area and to hold on to God with all my strength. Because He will be holding on to me. He will be there for me always. He will wipe away my tears. He will laugh with me. He will guide me through the darkness that I put myself into. He will love me unconditionally. He will still smile at me even when I do the most foolish things.
The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out.
But I, GOD, search the heart and examine the mind. I get to the heart of the human.
I get to the root of things. I treat them as they really are, not as they pretend to be." - Jeremiah 17:8-10 (Msg)
God is the only one who knows my heart. Even my best friends don't know what is my darkest secrets... and yet God knows. And He still chose to give me a chance to change and repent... not just a chance... but many, many countless chances. Thank you God. I promise I will try to keep holding on to You and not to the world. Thanks for loving me so much... |
| ranted by Jerraine @ 11:18 AM |
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| Monday, January 16, 2006 |
| The Art of Forgetting |
Just wanna warn you all that the poem below may make you uncomfortable. If you are the type that don't wanna know so much, then please dun read the following post. Just wanna vent some emotions out.
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The Art of Forgetting
Wish that we were not the adventurous type
Too many memories in too many places
Wish that I did not know so many of your friends
Seeing them reminds me of what you did
Wish that I have a short term memory
What I want to forget just lingers behind
Wish that I did not have so many happy memories
It might be easier for me to be indifferent
Wish that you never made me laugh so much
Then I would not have cried so much
Wish that you were still here
Then maybe I wont miss you so much
Wish that you never made that choice
Then my heart wont ache so badly
Wish that I can be free
Then I can be free to love others
Wish that I knew God before You
Then I would have had his wisdom to guide me through...
I wish for so many things yet many wishes will not be granted.
I have to learn to let go but first I have to forgive myself...
for not having forgotten you. |
| ranted by Jerraine @ 11:04 PM |
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| Wednesday, January 11, 2006 |
| Something about judgments... |
eh... ripped this off the internet from somewhere. but it's an interesting read... made me think abt how easy humans tend to judge people through isolated activities, or particular segment of events. I can go into a psychological explananation of why we are like this but i dun wanna bore u or myself. lol.
enjoy.
Question 1:If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?
Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.Question 2:It is time to elect a new world leader, and your vote is going to be the only vote left. Whoever you vote for will win the tie.
Here are the facts about the three candidates.
Candidate A.Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologist. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
Candidate B.He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.
Candidate CHe is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.
Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first... no peeking, then scroll down for the response..........
Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.
And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question: If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.Pretty interesting isn't it?
Makes a person think before judging someone.Never be afraid to try something new.
Remember: Amateurs...built the ark.Professionals...built the Titanic.
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| ranted by Jerraine @ 2:18 PM |
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| Tuesday, January 10, 2006 |
| A look at an interesting 'relic'... |
eh... unearthed something interesting just now... it's my astrology book! haha. quite interesting... almost forgot how last time i was astrology-siao with Patricia... Pat was more siao than me... eh no lah. she more 'pro' than me. She can calculate the angles, aspects, houses, whatnots and make them in a chart. I just wanna know more abt myself and my life and as i found out more, I wanted to help others find out. lol. it was a very interesting time for me as I found out more about myself...
just to show u a particular analysis of myself from a website:
Ascendant in Cancer:
When the Ascendant is Cancer, it produces a personality which is very sensitive and a little on the timid side.The Moon, the Ruler of Cancer is the indicator of emotions, the feelings, and the sensitivities. It is also closely related to the mothering instinct. You are very protective of those who are close to you, as you are protective of yourself.
Being extremely receptive, you may be somewhat psychic or at least extremely sensitive to your environment. Your moods are very strong and changeable, much like the tidescaused by the Moon.You respond to life through feelings and emotions. You can become easily upset, but never stay that way for any length of time. When you are in control of your emotions, you can be the most understanding person one could hope to find. You are compassionate and receptive, in touch with those around you.
Like the crab, a Cancer Ascendant often chooses an indirect approach to meeting objectives. There is a tendency to retreat when directly confronted, but with a tenacity of purpose that is unsurpassed. Like the crab, you can protect yourself with a shell-like personality that can make you nearly unapproachable when you feel threatened.
You identify strongly with your family, and a solid home base is essential to your well-being.You can become very attached and sentimental about people, places, and belongings.You pick up the feelings of those around you. This makes you especially sensitive.
Haha interesting right? Eh... show u all more... this is my chart? 
haha best hor? I am very Saggi and quite Scorpio. Not the best combi actually. haha.
okay last but not least, a look @ my general personality... dun wanna go into too much abt the houses and aspects... it's not the most spiritual stuff ever. =P
General Personality
Born under the sign of Sagittarius, you are flexible when changes occur and willing to adapt. You need to feel free to express yourself in your own individual way, and suffers more than most when restricted in some way. An above-average need for challenge is likely, and you rarely look back at what you may have missed, but prefer to look to the future with great anticipation from the lessons learned. You have a high level of enthusiasm for life. You need to take care so that you express your versatility in a controlled way, making sure that one project is completed before another is started, so you don't waste your energies. You are unhappy with routine occupations and become easily bored with repetitious tasks.
Your feelings are combined with intellectuality, so that you try to understand your own emotional reactions. You are more inclined to pursue interests pertaining to large numbers of people rather than individuals, and although you have a great deal of 'social consciousness', you might actually have difficulty in relating to individual people emotionally. You desire freedom for yourself and others, and you probably demonstrated your rebel qualities even as a young person. You feel the impulse of the times, and can relate easily to the subtle changes constantly occurring in your environment. Others may find you unpredictable at times.
You have more mental than physical energy, and as a result could end up spending you time thinking about doing things instead of acting. It is also important for you to get approval from others for your actions, although you have an argumentative temperament, and might enjoy confrontation and turmoil to a certain extent. Try to think before you speak so you don't hurt other people.
You have good intellectual powers, though these may not emerge very early in life. Youthful, carefree and with a sort of coltish quality, you might have a liking for risk-taking. You tend to do everything to excess, and need greater self-discipline to avoid draining all your physical energy. When mature, you could develop an interest in religion, philosophy or the law, and you have a potential facility for languages. An above-average love of travel is also possible.
You don't lack emotional intensity, but it may well be difficult for you to express your feelings. A tendency not to discuss problems is likely. But you are determined, ambitious and have the will to succeed. These resources need positive expression, perhaps through the acceptance of challenge. These traits must be recognized, or stagnation and discontent will dog your progress and attitude to life. A preoccupation with the unknown - generally or in the form of introspection - is also a possibility.
haha... not bad ah it predicted the difficulty i have to be expressing my problems to others... i was someone who likes to juist show a happy face and tears keep inside one... :P aniwaes... hope this makes for an interesting read lah...
now i shld sleep soon to go rappelling tml!!!!!!! |
| ranted by Jerraine @ 1:57 AM |
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| Saturday, January 07, 2006 |
| Repentance |
"Repentance is about changing the mind totally and not about just changing the actions. "
when I heard John, Joyce and some other people who shared this to me, I really agreed with it. This is so easy to understand but yet so hard to carry out. People in the world also can understand this piece of wisdom.
well... come to think about it, I have been quite good at just changing my action... my mind? not really. I have still kept so many secrets in my heart. I am so afraid what is going to happen if I really face them....
yep.... wordly fear really kills the godly faith that is needed in me. I fear so much that often I forget that the worst fear for me is to be dead and end up in Hell. yep. so if i fear so much to change and face the dark areas in my life, I am not going to be able to go to Heaven. Why? Cos I fear change more than I fear God.
I am afraid to admit the cynical nature of Victoria. People who know me usually know me as this scatter-brained, forgetful, motherly, chatty girl who likes to laugh loud loud and talk loud loud. Most people do not know the monster inside Victoria. The monster that can be self-destructive. The monster that can be so judgemental and harsh on others. The monster that longs to manipulate other people just to satisfy my own needs. Yep... the monster that is in Victoria is very dark and scary. And yes... I know there are also other people with other monsters in themselves. A politically and psychologically correct answer eh? But this monster in me scares even me. I wouldn't share everything... if you want to truly know more, spend time with me. that's if I choose to say or not.
Sometimes I dunno which mask I am wearing. Am I Victoria? Or am I still this 16-year old girl whose dreams have been shattered? Or am I still the 13-year old girl who longs to please all her friends? Or am I the ... ... ... ? I struggle to find out who I am... and when I find out that bit more... I get afraid. Scared and terrified at what I see.
Thanks God for loving me for all the flaws. If I don't ever know your love, who knows where I will end up by now? Thanks for saving my life. I pray that you help to really learn to face the darkness in me and let your light cleanse me. Cos your light can penetrate all darkness. Help me to remember that. Thanks God. |
| ranted by Jerraine @ 11:13 PM |
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| Friday, January 06, 2006 |
| God is the best boyfriend ever! |
What do women look for in men as their potential boyfriends and husbands?
1) Love:
God has sent down His only Son to die for me. Jesus died for me even before I knew his name!! I have known no men whose love can be so unconditional - be it in fairytale or lore. Even those men who died for their loved ones did it partly due to circumstances. Jesus chose to come down to Earth and died for me in a most painful and humiliating way when He could always choose to go back to Heaven.
2) Security:
Has any men been able to keep to all the promises they ever made? Has any man able to claim they never lied before? If yes. please indicate the name in my tagboard! God has never been false to His promises. He is the Truth. How can he ever lie? Has He fell through any promise He made? NO! God has always been there for me. And He always will be.
3) Money:
Who is richer than God? Who created wealth? Duh... God! Who has a bigger house than God?? Not even the property magnate Donald Trump! God uses gold to pave his road. Who has more property than God? Erm... no one? Whose wealth will never be affected by the market, politics, natural disasters? Only God's!!
4) Able to make me laugh:
Erm... God has given me all the flowers in the world! God has given me the best comedians. God has given me the knowledge that I can laugh at the bad things that happened in my life because I have overcame them. That's why it's called the PAST. God created nitrogen gas. God has a quick mind. Duh. Otherwise who composed the Bible? Knowing there's someone who loves me so much just makes me feel so much joy.
5) Good looks:
Erm... who created the Brad Pitts, Clark Gables? Uh-huh God. Enough said about this.
6) Deep thinker:
If God is not the deepest person, I dunno who else is liao... Who wrote the Bible with all its imagery and metaphors!! In those days, most men don't even know what is a metaphor! Some men still don't really know up til now! =P
Eh... there's more for me to write but I dun think I want to discourage the men who might read this... lol. Just some food for thought for me as a women. =P
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| ranted by Jerraine @ 12:50 AM |
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| Monday, January 02, 2006 |
| Wah.. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!! |
Wow... another year has arrived... and I am now 4 years old spiritually... Thank you Father for welcoming me 4 years ago and putting people in my life to help me grow in my walk with you. Thank you for ur ultimate sacrifice just to give us the freedom from this fallen world. This world that is ruled by Satan as Man has handed the authority over to him way back in Adam's time. Jesus died not to take the power back to You (you can take the authority back as and well u want it!! you are the creator loh...) but u choose to let Your Son to die so that we can once again have the authority over our lives in the world. there's much more... but I think I wont share so much here.
aniwaes... I had a pretty 'interesting' trip with my parents in Genting! Went up there for find another Genting. lol... it was pretty nothing much for me to do there as the food there was very Singaporean-priced and the arcade was basically not that great... theme parks had too many loooooooong queues. haha... basically I had to look for other things to do... thus I used the time to surf the net to keep in contact with my Singaporean mates =P and also to have some more quiet reflection time with God. one great thing in Genting was the great scenery... the clouds, the mountains, etc. I managed to finish planning for my New Year resolutions (which I will share another dae after i share with my sisters. hehe) and I found myself complaining abt my boredom in Genting so much that I decided to do something challenging (at least to myself!). It smacks of an ungrateful heart in me to be so complaining abt every thing in Genting... So i went to evangelise. yeah!!! and guess what? i managed to get 3 nus gals' numbers! and thru God's blessings... all year ones!! it's a truly humbling and amazing experience to have... how did I go about doing it? I prayed first... then as I was walking around, I erm... overheard two girls talking abt bidding for next semester's modules... haha... just struck up conversation with them loh... then I met another one @ the cyber cafe sitting next to me... goodness... the harvest can be plentiful even in Genting!! :P so just wanna share with you all lahz... first time i ever evangelised overseas on my own... kinda weird, kinda scary but extra exhilirating and rewarding!! something that can be done again~.
and straight after I come back to Singapore, the next dae I had to prepare not to be able to sleep in my own bed for 2 nites as I was going to overnight at Clara's place~... we had a inspiring year end party @ church and it was great to end the year in prayers... and that we can dance like mad in a great atmosphere. the music could be better tho (okok... need to be less critical...!) then campus christians got together to share for the ntu graduates. and after that we played mafia from 3am-630am in a great location! haha very farnie lah... then had an encouraging reverse date @ clara's house... was supposed to surprise her with cake and all... haha but eh it was a near surprise... morale of that story : one person shall lead all in such surprise parties. lol. and both daes i had a great quiet time with the sisters - Clara and Jen... It's great to be able to share insights of what I learnt and hear their sides as well... now doign on repentance but me have yet to buy the book yet so i am doing another book that addresses a particular area i need to repent in.
well all these was a great way to start the new year~ will realli try to share abt the ipoh retreat as soon as possible. just got the pictures... realised i need to do editing...! hehe. yep. cyas all real soon~ |
| ranted by Jerraine @ 11:29 PM |
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