| Royal Hearing |
|
|
| Favourite |
(Proverbs 31:25-26)
"She is clothed with strength and dignity; She can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue." |
| Tunes in My Head |
Create your own Friend Test here |
|
| Saturday, June 24, 2006 |
| life's a drama |
the sentence above really fits into my life so far.
examples of 'drama':
1) ever seen or heard of anyone literally rolling down a staircase? I've known and seen ppl falling...but rolling? I think I ve the rare honour.
2) sprained my ankles for goodness-know-how-many-times by freak accidents, e.g. just walking/crossing the road/tiptoeing/etc.
3) broke up with my first boyfriend cos he did something and i was the last one to know (haha can sing britney spears " Don't let me be the last to know") (for more details either spend time with me or date me. haha)
4) my second boyfriend died from HIV virus 2 years ago.
5) my health is facing a crisis of sorts in my early 20s!!
6) I was offered drugs before (yah... i even saw it.)
7) I met a flasher 3 times in 2 years in the same housing estate... (tsk tsk... Yew Tee is so not safe. hehe)
8) I was robbed in my housing estate last month (but the thief got away with $1).
9) my first crush was announced to the whole world by my english teacher during my secondary school days.
10) i thought of committing suicide when I was 10 years old. (amazing how depressed I was hor...)
11) my sister was in the hosptial for nearly a month as she was knocked down by a bus.
12) 4 of my same-age group friends have passed away through either accidents, suicides or drug poisoning.
... the list can go on. haha sorry if this is too much information for you. my life has been good actually. It's just these spate of incidents that made me go "wow, my life is pretty dramatic in the sense that i am not exactly known for understatement in my actions and speech.
just that as I review all these, I am pretty amazed how God just kept looking out for me. before every dramatic event in these recent years i have always been blessed with good friends who was just there for me. a sister who will hold my hand to just gimme assurance. a brother who offer to beat up the offending flasher for me. a sister who write many many cards for me just to encourage me. a sister who loves to give me warm hugs and just calls my name with great enthusiasm and love. a brother who listens and listens. a sister who writes a sweet blog entry just for me just to tell me that she'll be there for me... i just feel so loved at these different times. thank you for just reassuring me. you definitely have touched my life.
"A friend loves at all times, but a brother/sister is born for adversity." |
ranted by Jerraine @ 8:48 PM  |
|
|
|
| Saturday, June 17, 2006 |
| Where is your treasure? |
"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." - Matthew 6:21 (NIV)
"It's obvious, isn't it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being." - - Matthew 6:21 (Message)
"Wherever your treasure is, there your heart and thoughts will also be." - Matthew 6:21 (NLT)
This verse has been helping me a lot to keep the worries on my mind in perspective. Not that I am new to this verse... but truly God's Word refreshes consistently and constantly. The Word is ALIVE. :)
So... where's your heart right now? Do you long to be with Jesus? Do you long to enjoy His love for eternity? Yes, His grace has given it to us. But... do we appreciate it? Or do we just take it for granted? Do we know that God is living inside us? Do we even bother to take care of the holy temple (which is our body?).
In a questioning mood. Not necessarily to answer all my questions. Just think abt it ba. :D |
| ranted by Jerraine @ 11:29 PM |
|
|
|
| Wednesday, June 14, 2006 |
| Joy? |
"I am committed to letting him choose for me what gifts I will have, and to embracing his choice with all my heart. I will not spend my life pining away for something he has not chosen for me." (Helen Roseveare)
"Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." - Matthew 6:33
When I read what Helen Roseveare wrote, I really felt deeply challenged. Why? Well... I always like to say "Okay I know God has the best plans for me... so let me not worry so much about it." However, I think I never said the word "committed". "Committed" is a strong word. I am rather fussy over the words people choose when they communicate. (sorry ah... i will continue to learn how to be less fussy.) See? Even when i want to change, I never sae the word "committed" so much. I think the numbr of times this word appeared in my speech vocabulary can be counted on my ten fingers. And I talk a lot. Last time, I remembered being challenged about the kind of mindset I have when I want to change. I kept using the word "need" when I was describing the lifestyle changes I was going to attept to do. Irene challenged me about my lack of passion, my lack of true godly desire. I never once used the word "want" in my whole conversation with her. Why is this so? Because in my heart, I still struggled to commit to the changes I was going to set out to do. To me then, changes are just ... well, changes. They do not mean much to me except that they will make me more healthy, help me be more productive, help me be more efficient. bleah bleah. a lot of head knowledge. Very little went into my heart.
Presently, I am not claiming that I am soooo inspired and constantly sooo motivated to keep changing. However, I have been trying. It has been not easy for me to kill my old habits... even harder to get rid of the old mindsets (if you read my looong past blog entries, you may find some traces). God has been pushing me to change also... albeit sometimes I do wish He does so with a gentler touch (not saying I complain He being rough ah.) I just the challenges were easier. haha but then, if the challenge was easy, I dun think I will change. hehe. such is the evil in my heart. :P
okay i have been diverted. I was trying to also look deeper in the context of why Jesus said what He said in Matthew 6. I was like why the people still worry when Jesus was around? Jesus is like THE man lo. Why did Jesus raise this issue so early in his preaching to the masses? Because Jesus knows that we will continue to struggle with worries and broken dreams as long as we live on this earth. As humans, our desires are scarcely totally fulfilled. We almost always want more. I don't wish to overgeneralize but those who escaped out of this are rare and far too few. Even people who have been content wants to learn how to be even more content!! Quite a paradox hor? But anyway, did the people worry less when they heard the message? I don't think everyone did. I think in the back of their minds, they were beginning to worry about why Jesus said the message and how would the people around them react to the message. Very few people do respond purely to Jesus's call. Even the 12 disciples were unfaithful to Jesus at different times.
I am not saying that we are oh-so-perfect-that-we-will-not-worry-forever-liao. But... how do we exactly do with our worries? Another reason why Jesus says all this is also to reassure us that "hey, when you worry, tell me. dun do nothing with your worry but tell me and COMMIT it to me. Trust me to find what's best for you." Notice that Jesus never say exactly what "things" are. Why? Because all our needs are different. :)
so... what prevents you from reveling in God's plan for you? what kills your joy?
(actually I edited this quite a bit. i chose not to publish certain entries yet. :P just wanna explain why I did not set out to do what I said I was going to do -to share my quiet time more frequently.) |
| ranted by Jerraine @ 12:32 AM |
|
|
|
| Monday, June 12, 2006 |
| how to love |
(realised this entry never got published... haha freaky... :P)
must first share how inspired and bowled over by the KL campus sisters... first, they were so out of themselves! not saying that I thought they were 'hard' people la. it's just so amazing how God is the common denominator and how the Holy Spirit find kindred souls between people you just met -- just because we are His children. :P
Thanks Corrinne, Seh Yen, Shiau Fong, Sim for just being so open... and so humble. :) I shall visit you all hopefully in JULY!! hehe keep me informed abt Campus Sunday ah.
so... wow. the conference was challenging. challenging in the sense that i did not expect to be reflecting on how to love. i thought i was going to learn some good old practicals on how to lead. heh my to-do lists are long. basically... how do I love by giving time? do i love by loving NOW? how do I show I feel loved by Jesus? wah piang... these three questions are just encircling my brain.
then... the next dae was asked to think about how do I support the morale in the group. at first i thot 'aiya... sisters... bleah blah bleah." but no. it's not so simple. it's abt realli reallli realli looking @ my attitude... am I going to a maintainence woman... or what? what do i want to bring into my small group? am I just a 'wheelbarrow' leader? am I shaped to be a 'square'? only moving when I am being turned? what values am I showing in my life? woah... questions questions questions.
then when Joyce and Julie shared the lesson for the women, another few arrows entered my heart. women are even more 'harmful' than men cos we know where to exact the maximum revenge... without drawing blood. scary huh? do I even keep the mission on my mind the way God wants me to? or I just keep it on my mind as sth I need to do and quickly dust it under my rug?
then vincent jumped onto the wagon to add more questions for me to ponder: what am i filled with? sins? or the spirit? both have the same starting letter... do I bear the seal of God proudly? how do i worship...? and how do I live?
well... a whole lot of questions... really enough to go thru my entire year manz. yeps. |
| ranted by Jerraine @ 1:55 AM |
|
|
|
|
| contentment... |
In Philippians 4:11-12, Paul informs us that "godliness with contement is great gain" and he instructs us how he gain contentment from his life. Contentment is such a valued virtue but seriously the pure form of it is getting extinct in the world. Nowadays, advertisements tell us that we need to get that, this, that IN ORDER to be content. And like what one playwright wrote, "God hath made none contented." (quoted from Life Management for Busy Women). it's not easy to see what God truly wants to be content.
Got a short poem from the book:
A Recipe for Contentment
Health enough to make work a pleasure
Wealth enough to support your needs
Strength enough to battle with difficulties and forsake them
Grace enough to confess your sins and overcome them
Patience enough to toil til some good is accomplished
Charity enough to see some good in your neighbour
Love enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others
Faith enough to make read the things of God
Hope enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future.
Even the words are so meaningul lo! Gonna sleep early ba... so will continue another day... :) |
| ranted by Jerraine @ 12:05 AM |
|
|
|
| Sunday, June 11, 2006 |
| equality? |
have been reading 2 DPI books at one time... haha. i am a fast reader... was feeling kinda lost what books to read cos I seemed to have finished reading plenty of books and... i am rather lazy to find new authors that I like. On a further side note, I think I shall compile a list of the books I read over the years... just being funny!! haha. dun think I can recall all the titles anyways... okies i shall quite being distracted.
okai what i am going to write may be offensive who do not share the same faith as me. that's that. just a disclaimer to prepare anyone who reads this entry.
Let's start with looking at this verse:
" There is neither... male nor female, for you are all in one in Christ Jesus." (Galatians 3:28)
as I was reading the book "God's Design for Women" by Sharon James, I found myself going "yeah, that's so true!" far too many times. Why? 'Cos I was caught in this lie before. That man and woman are equal. That man have been oppressing woman for such a long time. That church is biased towards man. Blah blah blah. I do admit that some of these statements may be true but often not, the statements are made with only a narrow focus on the context and situation that 'statement' has occurred in. What's more, the 'in' thing for women for the longest time is youthful beauty which has made many women lost and depressed in their search to fulfil such standards. Successful careers, loving moms, caring wives, doting grandmothers, are just some of the roles women are also expected to play in this present day and stage! No wonder women suffer from the highest rate of depression especially AFTER the women's revolution. I am not saying that education, the right to vote are bad... but many issues and events that happened after made me went 'oh my gosh' quite a bit while reading about it. It's so true... so many women (girls, teenagers, adults, whatever!) are still caught up in the lie that in order to truly love a man, you need to give your body. Or that, we as women are supposed to dress up with seduction in mind. Or that being slim, youthful, beautiful are the only ways to attract and keep a man's heart surely (look at the number of comestic surgeons and beauty products and slimming salons, enuff said.). And this is so ingrained into the present-day women's mind, even as Christian women, we still get so affected by it.
I still struggle with insecurity about how I look and stuff. I even contemplated going for comestic surgery to even out my skin... i am not saying that it's not right to care for how we look. But when how we look and our appearance becomes a very big goal in our lives, it becomes a problem. For e.g. sometimes when I fast, it's not just because I want to really be humble but because I want to lose weight (yikes, my sins coming out here.) or that some people get into debts because they want to lose weight or go for beauty treatments or buy a whole truckload (okay i am exaggerating la) of beauty products. It's also very sad as I, a Christian, still am conforming to the world so consciously, even though I know God is shaking his head at me. In Genesis, God has stated so early all of us are made in His image - both male and female (ref to Genesis 1:26-28,31). Our lives have equal meaning and value in God's eyes. Even Peter said it again in the New Testament that wives are fellow-heirs of God's kingdom (ref to 1 Peter 3:7). Isn't amazing? Wow... God had and has never been biased towards the opposite gender. Yet, so often as women are caught up in Satan lies (remember Eve in the Garden of Eden??), we lose sight of what God has lovingly placed in front of us and our eyes are no longer fixed on Jesus but on the world.
Yet, man and women are created differently. Why? because we are mant to complement each other! In Genesis 2:18=25, Adam was overjoyed as he discovering the differences between Eve and him. Sharon James also said, "The different ways in which they were created pointed to their primary callings. Adam, being made from the earth, would take the lead in subduing the ground (in Gen 2:15 God commanded him to work and take care of the garden.) Later, Adam was also cursed in this sphere. Eve, made from Adam's body, would find her primary fulfilment in the supremely relational task of being a helper to her husband and bearing and nurturing new life." When I read this, I went "Wow... I never ever thought of why God created Man and Woman with different methods!" God meant for man and woman to fulfil God's commands in partnership. Not in isolation!
It's just completely mindblowing how God creates everything... And I am sure that God knows that women and men will both be caught so many lies that He not only just created us but gave us the Bible and also Jesus who died on the cross for my sins! Goodness... God is just such a loving God... who demands so little from his people even though he had laid down plans and plans and plans for them for such a loooong time. :) Amen. |
| ranted by Jerraine @ 5:28 AM |
|
|
|
| Friday, June 09, 2006 |
| the day mua-chee won the amazing race (sentosa) |
actually i wanted to have the photos one... before i type abt it (actually think if i delay i will also forget to type... lol), so due to the wishes of Alfred Yuen Hong Sheng, I shall do my bit to blog about the amazing adventures of MUA-CHEE! or MaChi. haha.
the dae started with everyone gathering @ 8am at the famous yellow arches in Harbourfront. together they ate to energize themselves for the game ahead of them. With the eager leadership of Gwendolyn Neo Weilin and David Liao, the contestants gathered @ the Ferry Terminal finally @ 930am-ish. Together, the groups are divided into 4 and the MuaChee is formed! With the inspiring leadership of Alfred Yuen and the steady stewardship of Shawn Seet, the team consisted of the ever-reliable Manfred, the ever-excited Felicia, the ever-game Zhijie and the ever-loud Victoria. Together, they form a ever-united team called MuaChee!
After the first game, MuaChee set out as the third team but that did not dampened their spirits a single bit. After making a mad rush to the bus stop to take a bus to their first pit stop which was to the most southern tip of South East Asia. At that plc, we quickly decided that Zhijie will be the man buried in sand... after modelling a merlion tail and making water sprout out of Zhijie's mouth, we got our next clue to proceed to the Fountain Gardens. there, Alfred and Felicia and Victoria quickly acted out all the charade clues to the Bible story lines. Despite the slight delay at guessing "A woman washing Jesus's feet with perfume", we quickly got our next clue to proceed to Sunset Bay (by then, we had left the second grp that left the ferry terminal at the gardens! woohoo! haha). Despite the quick foot steps, we still took a 5 mins break at the Siloso Beach and bought drinks @ 7-11. Equipped with Big Gulps, we proceeded to Sunset Bay and played a game of passing-the-sandwich-ingredients-using-body-parts. Our ever-inspiring leader, Alfred even took two big bites out of the sandwich despite the sandy texture. the MuaChees really were pretty united manz! next we proceeded on to find the elusive Dragon Trail. With the diligence of the ever-reliable Manfred, we managed NOT to get lost and got on the right path. We were all pretty winded climbing the stairs but everyone were very encouraging and helped each other to stay on the course. Alas, David was still lost on his way to getting to the Rocky Dragon. Thus, MuaChee had a looooooong break. Besides replenishing ourselves with water, Alfred also proceeded to loosen the jaws of the Rock Dragon. Soon, all the groups caught up and gathered at the pit stop. After giving out sandwiches to quieten the rumbling stomachs, as the first group, we proceeded to the next task. After several tries of putting the hands into the mysterious bag, our group quickly assmebled the broken clues and headed off to Tanjong Beach. On the way there, our leader decided to use the Fast Forward. Thus, as a group we expressed our consensus and opened the clue. We had to find a foreigner and asked the person to translate our church's motto into their native language and after that, we needed to sing it out. It was done pretty fast as we located a Danish guy pretty quickly. Thus, with the quick mind of Alfred who came up with modifying the Twinkle Twinkle Little Star Melody, we received the last clue from Shawn. Thus, it was a long hike to the Parade Square where previously before the renovations, looked pretty scary and dark. After the renovation into the Tourism Academy of Sentosa... well. no more scariness liao. :P WE WERE THE FIRST GROUP TO ARRIVE @ the LAST PIT STOP! eh but David was also late... so we waited and waited and waited.
it was pretty farnie as we really ended the adventures and managed to escape the dunking segment. we took lotsa silly photos and played the Ungame which helped us to know each other better. After that, everyone gathered and most of the people proceeded to have dinner @ Pasir Panjang. It was a thoroughly fun day... :) |
| ranted by Jerraine @ 10:06 AM |
|
|
|
|
| the battle between the zzz monster and the scanner lady |
it was a dark and stormy day (note the originality here!).
the scanner lady was trudging along a small road without a umbrella. raindrops persistently wished to drench her clothes but due to (plays those super-power music) her super power of scanning away the 'wetness'.
suddenly (wah... another originality!!), she noticed a shadow lurking in one corner. and out jumps (plays villian music) the ZZZ Monster! Quickly, the scanner lady took out her ever trustworthy light bulb shield to fend off the Z-bombs the ZZZ Monster was throwing. Slowly, both of them took hits and as the ZZZ Monster becomes more awake, the scanner lady becomes more sleepy... the battle continues to rage... (story will likely to continue tonight.)
as a sidenote, i still have yet the opportunity to type out my quiet time... haha... jialat. but i must say... God does have a humourous side like what Joyce shared. We been praying so hard for last Sat to be a sunny day due to the spate of rainy days... and for the next four days God really made the days very very sunny. haha. God is awesome hor? The perfect bridegroom - a sense of humour with the power to grant your wishes. lol. |
| ranted by Jerraine @ 9:55 AM |
|
|
|
| Monday, June 05, 2006 |
| yet another baby is born! |
eh as I yet have the time to consolidate my photos nor photoshop them, ppl who are waiting for me to put them up... sorry ah. :P
aniwaes... YESTERDAE was the dae a NEW baby is born... Him Nok is baptized into the Campus Ministry! Woohoo... Another brother is baptized liao... though he has graduated, it's great news to have a new addition into the ministry - to bring up the spirits! sisters! let's pray earnestly (not saying we have not been la) for our studies to be baptized!!!! :)
aniwaes... think I need to start using this blog with a more spiritual aim. haha am gonna try to share my quiet times more using this blog. had this idea this morning during my prayer with God. here am I complaining to God about troubles in my life and my schedule and how to put my priorities right, yet I neglect that there's so many things I can mobilize and utilize. was reading "God's Design for Women" and I realised the insights written in this book is realli to be shared. Since my dream is to be able to help as many young people to have a healthy outlook on life, and so many people are reading blogs and writing blogs, my blog should have a more functional use instead of just for me to type my ups and downs. eh not saying i never thot abt this before bba... i think it's more like i think i finally know what primary topic i can write abt ba. heh. so from TOMORROW onwards i shall be sharing more about what I learnt from the book.... :)
okai i got to go... need to start working hehe. |
| ranted by Jerraine @ 1:14 PM |
|
|
|
|
|
